I see myself as being a person who is happy, honest, true, loyal, forgiving, loving, caring, non confrontational, insecure, and dependable (just to name a few). Of course I can be a bit vengeful if you treat me badly. I will lay down my life for you if I feel that you are a true friend. Of course if I don't see you as a true friend, all bets are off. I am a total people pleaser as well. I want people to like me and in turn will do whatever need be just to make them happy. I've always seen myself as a bit immature when compared to my friends. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I have a lot of funky little quirks but those who know me well love me in spite of those quirks. I always try to be the best person I can be...even in the worst of situations. I always want people to see me as a person they can come to if they need a friend.
Of course, all those attributes are things I think about myself. I'm sure that not everyone would agree with a good chunk of them.
Having said all that, it breaks my heart when I hear people say things about me that they see to be true. Am I really the bad person they make me out to be? Or are they just picking out my flaws (of which I have many) and magnifying them a thousand times over?
I know my self esteem shouldn't come from what others think of me but it just really bothers me to hear people don't think of me in the way I want them to. Sadly the things I have heard have made me question a lot of things about myself. Maybe I need to try harder to be the positive things on my list. Maybe that would help? I don't know. I do know that I can't make everyone like me so maybe I should just focus on those who do and be the best person I can. As one of my favorite quotes says "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
4 comments:
Hope you're feeling better now. I've heard a quote (that of course I can't find) about how when we receive criticism, we should consider if it's true or not. If it is, we can make changes, if not, we should let it go (easier said than done). Many times people judge us based only on their information and they don't have the full story. Of course it hurts when someone thinks we have done something we don't feel we have. After considering it, you should just move on and dwell on the positive things about you that you, your family and friends do see. They know what a great person you are and so does Heavenly Father!
I don't know you, but I can so sympathize with you. Valerie gave you good advice, as she always does. Take care of yourself and try to move on.
Patti, I need your email. annejohnson_athome@hotmail.com
No worries, nothing terrible, just wanted to reconnect. I have been off the Blog world for a while and this impending move to Japan has had me all stressed out. How I am going to fit 3000 square feet of house into 1100 square feet apartment....yeah well, now you know why I've been so AUGHHHHH! Anyhoo, email me!
Patti, I miss your blog!!!!!!!!!!!!
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